Day 78

5.02: If you think I’m some sort of early-rising sadist-cum-knee-sock-scrunching-evangelist for getting up at 5am each morning to make stuff up, you ain’t seen nothing.

Helpfully, the brilliant Lapham’s Quarterly has put together a chart showing the sorts of perversions writers far more famous and celebrated than me (who’s celebrated only in airing cupboards and cutlery draws) have wreaked in every room of the home.

Nudity seems to have been a popular pastime.

John Cheever I think’s my favourite, who, “put on a tie and coat, took the elevator to the basement of his apartment building, stripped down to his underwear and wrote for most of the morning.”

Then he put the tie back on and went out to his day job in the Chippendales.

And then there’s dear old Victor Hugo, who deprived himself of his clothes, and instructed his valet not to return them until he’d finished whatever it was he was writing (Hugo, not the valet). I know it’s early and you’re probably mangling your breakfasts, but conjure, if you will, the image of this man ploughing sternly through Les Misérables and Notre-Dame de Paris wearing nothing but two square beards and a grimace.

7.00: That turned into a short chapter, but I’ve pared it down to the essential and – I hope interesting bits – so we can move on to something more exciting. That was my penultimate chapter in the voice of this character, which is a little bit sad as well as a little bit scary: it means the next one has to tie every loose end together all in one go. I may have to nail my trousers to a flag pole and not allow them to be brought down until I’ve satisfactorily resolved everything.

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~ by David Thorley on April 20, 2010.

One Response to “Day 78”

  1. […] 5.02: Yesterday it was Victor Hugo’s pubes, and why stop flogging a horse before it’s dead? Let’s talk Pepys’ […]

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