Day 85

5.01: What do you get if you cross a hair-based druid who has his own pencil box with a one-time rap metal superstar? Probably nothing that funny’s the answer, but you do get a collaboration between the Mighty Alan Moore (two Os) and Faith No More (one O)’s Mike Patton (two Ts) is what.

Apparently, it’s “a bewitching story written and narrated by Moore set against an epic score”.

Sounds a bit “Harry-Potter-gets-to-university-and-buys-himself-a-really-big-pair-of-shorts” to me.

But who in all of MIddle Earth and Narnia am I to question Moore, whose last major work was a pornographic collaboration with his wife, that got banned in several countries?

Ninety per cent beard, Moore explains, “our French publisher withdrew, thinking that he’d contravene new French laws on child pornography, so we were in the strange position of having Italy, Spain and Germany – all the former fascist countries – on our side.”

Then he says, “– and this is brilliant – the books were seized by Canadian customs, and Canada has very strict laws regarding children and pornography. So our US publisher sends them a thick dossier of supporting quotes about Melinda and I, and a wonderful letter of intent spelling out why the scenes of incest and bestiality are not obscene, why this is a work of serious artistic intent and why the scenes of underage sexual activity can in no way be considered child pornography. And Canadian Customs agreed, which was just wonderful!”

Fortunately the UK’s customs officers were sophisticated enough to realise that Lost Girls couldn’t be porn, because it showed “clear artistic merit.” Which is a ringing endorsement if ever there was one.

My friend Gareth met Moore once.

“Did I ever tell you that I went to his house in Northampton, and he answered the door?” said Gareth. “We had a chat about Promethea, his then current work, and compared spiritual disciplines. He had that look of terror on his face until he realised that I was just shy and middle-class and not a conjured demon.”

Mike Patton (two Ts) must have scared the shit out of him then.

6.56: Blast, so much for problem solving: the story just got another chunk longer, and there’s no way round it. Very little actually written this morning, but I’ve at least figured out, roughly, how to slot the missing vertebrae into the shaking skeleton this thing’s becoming. Back to typing tomorrow; then back to the beginning, to start connecting leg bone to knee bone; knee bone to thigh bone. Ezekiel connected dem dry bones. Oh, hear the word of the Lord.

~ by David Thorley on April 28, 2010.

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