Day 110

5.05: Yo Pope. Welcome to Britain, you fruitloop shitcase.

Really, I mean it: Welcome to Britain.

In case anyone cares, I don’t agree with Peter Tatchell who’s organising a protest against having Pope Benedict XVI, protector of / apologiser for / blind-eye turner to child rapists, and promoter of STDs, come to visit. Admittedly, it would be nice if te Vatican, which has hundreds of millions of dollars a year revenues, paid for himself, but I can’t see that there’s anything to be gained by protesting against a visit.

Instead I’d like to think we can take advantage of it. I won’t get to meet the Pope, but the Guardian’s produced a handy guide to his visit explaining who will: “Top Catholics and Church of England leaders, Queen, prime minister and atheist deputy.”

So…

Dear Top Catholics, Church of England leaders, Queen, prime minister and atheist deputy,

I invite you to use your forthcoming audience with the Pope to explain to him in very clear terms, why a hefty number of people the world over think he’s a fruitloop shitcase on an altogether celestial scale, and to use as many charms, tricks, and wiles as you have to encourage him to renounce his fruitloop shitcasery, like a baptismal godparent renouncing evil at a font.

In case you need a few pointers in making those arguments, here they are.

This is where the spiritual and administrative leader of over a billion Christians explained that the solution to the wildfire crackling of AIDS across Africa is not condoms, but “a spiritual and human renewal that would bring with it a new way of behaving towards others.”

This is where he approved a declaration of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith characterising homosexuality “as more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.”

And this is an article about how the Vatican’s new rules to tighten up on the priests that rape children (still less stringent than those of the USA) built into them an incidental announcement that the ordination of women is a “grave crime.”

Spread the word everybody. Do your worst.

Love,

Dave.

Sorry everyone, I know that wasn’t the amuse-bouche of media-obsessed quirk and sarcasm I normally hawk up of a morning but it seemed like a good time to let of a bit of steam.

Like I say, welcome to Britain, Pope, you fruitloop shitcase.

7.14: Bad morning. Not enough sleep, and all the misplaced commas and spelling mistakes dancing about the screen like infuriating wasps, which won’t stay still long enough to be batted away. Stuart not helping either. Not one little bit. Geriatric work-shirking jackass.

PS – Touching on the Pope thing again, it occurs to me that it was perhaps a bit arrogant to assume that top Catholics and members of the Church of England, the Queen, Prime Minister and his atheist deputy are all avid readers of therebeforelight. And this morning, they’ve got visitors coming too. So if anyone has the ear of top Catholics and members of the Church of England, the Queen, Prime Minister or his atheist deputy – perhaps you’re Facebook friends and haven’t been in touch for a while – point them in the direction of this blog.

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~ by David Thorley on September 16, 2010.

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