Anyone can play keytar

Hey everybody. Why don’t we do the show right here?

If you follow this link, we can all form a band with it’s own rehearsal space, which is each of our living rooms, beds, easy chairs, or toilets.

The band will sound like The Orb but without the talky bits.

All you need is a computer, flash, a webcam, and a camera phone and/or printer.

Before you click the link, here’s what’ll happen when you do. You’ll go to a webpage that says “Get the Marker” on the left hand side. There’s various other stuff too, including possibly – depending on what version of flash you have, and how laissez faire you are with your webcam privacy settings – a webcam link up of you looking a bit like you’re standing still in a moving jail. Ignore that, just do as the page says, and “Get the damn Marker.”

Then it’s dead easy. That’s a lie. Then its infernally difficult. So difficult you could learn to speak Swahili to ducks more quickly than you could pick out a tune on this damnably interactive instrument. Any east Africans or ducks reading may have an advantage. A Tanzanian mallard will be the cyber Beethoven by the end of breakfast.

Anyway, print out the little black and white marker fellow, or snap a photo of it on your phone, and it becomes as a magic wand of music lasering its way out of that webcam-built box you’ve put yourself in.

You get a choice of going “boing”, “biddly biddly bidlle” or “pyowwwn pyowwn thunk.”

If you speed up the flying bars and choose the “pyowwwn pyowwn thunk” instrument you can make a sound that sounds like the footsteps of a transformer which flips out of its robot state into a Casio keytar.

And then you can record it, and stomp around the room pretending you it’s your electro wellies making that synth-pop squelching every step you take.

“Pyowwwn pyowwn thunk”

I’ve got Euro-boogie in my gumboots.

~ by David Thorley on October 29, 2010.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: