History as told by the paperweights

Look it’s an acrylic paperweight enclosing signed photograph of Richard Nixon, Pat Nixon, and two of their grandchildren.

Let’s search the internet for the best piece of political memorabilia we can find.

The only rule is, it has to be contemporary to the heyday of the political figure in question. No arch, satirical nutcrackers or balloon pumps please.

So first up, it’s the Reagan and Gorbachev board game. A game for two players. Player one dresses as a cowboy; player two cuts out a map of South America and puts it on his head. They find a wall and sit either side of it until it falls down. If play goes on too long the players make go for a city break in Reykjavik.

Item two, a signed, limited edition bronze of Margaret Thatcher from 1991 (cheating slightly already, but we’ll allow it). It’s going  for £18.75 on Ebay at the moment, so if you had the 400-odd dollars the Nixon thing’s up for, you could get both, and pretend to polish Thatcher’s buttons with Nixon’s brillo-pad sideburns.

Third up. For only $40 a collection of photographs of Colonel Gaddafi looking like a cross between Imran Kahn and Leo Sayer, as well as a copy of his Green Book, which is the text in which he explained to everyone in Libya exactly why he was lording it over them dressed as the plasticine uncle of one of the A-Team.

Last of all, and I don’t think this’ll be beaten this morning, it’s a silk effect souvenir scarf to commemorate Pope John Paul II’s papal visit to Britain in 1982. Shroud yourself in this little number and you can imagine you’re playing Wembley. Then, go round pretending to forgive all sorts of relevant sins, like the election of Helmut Kohl, or Olivia’s Greatest Hits Vol. 2.

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~ by David Thorley on March 16, 2011.

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