The Beck Gospels

Let’s start Thursday with a few words from Glenn Beck.

“What God does is God’s business, I have no idea. But I’ll tell you this: whether you call it Gaia or whether you call it Jesus — there’s a message being sent. And that is, ‘Hey, you know that stuff we’re doing? Not really working out real well. Maybe we should stop doing some of it.'”

Here we go again. Foaming idiot boy blames Japanese Tsunami on Bad Deeds by People, because he doesn’t know any better. As a piece of ethical philosophy its vying for position alongside “All Dogs Go to Heaven went too easy on rabid pit bulls” and “White Men Can’t Jump savagely neglected Jonathan Edwards“. But you have to admire his logic.

“What God does is God’s business.”

That’s brilliant. It’s the sort of thing Fox News used to say about gay people. “If God wants to be an arbitrary homicidal baby with a twitch, then as long as he does it behind closed doors and doesn’t hurt anyone, I ain’t got no problem with it.”

He’s a minority of one, Beck; but he’s got rights.

I feel like we’ve been given a little insight into Geoff Beck’s God. He’s one of those guys who sits on the porch stroking a shotgun. The kind of man who only has a single tooth but can still eat corn on the cob. One of those strange types that manage to be bald but still have long hair, and who lost a thumb in the ’70s to a riled prairie dog. Keeps himself to himself. Wears hobnail boots and two pairs of trousers. Once killed a tourist with a crossbow. Friends call him Trigger. But he hasn’t got any.

Well Glenn, it takes all sorts.

~ by David Thorley on March 17, 2011.

One Response to “The Beck Gospels”

  1. When I was a kid I lived in Utah, and the Boy Scouts was taken over by Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS Church). This, so called religion, practices underage polygamy, they send the boy s off on missions to divide the underage sisters among the dirty old men of the clan. Now when these underage girls get pregnant, these same dirty old men, send them to the state to get their welfare checks . You should see some of the palace homes that are paid with welfare checks (not on just one of course). By the way this is the newest religion that was created right here in United States of America, I guess their also in AZ, CA, NM, TX, NV, CO, OK. When someone hides behind religion to do or say something that is wrong we should stand up and point it out (right the wrong). Someone should ask Glenn Beck about it, he seems to have all the answers.

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