The final solution

So Bin Laden’s dead. At least they let him watch the royal wedding first.

And what a lot of whooping we’ve had over the bank holiday weekend.

Meanwhile he was quietly tossed over the back of a row boat dressed in lead dungarees and a pair of concrete wellies.

Or so they tell us…

Tin hats on everyone, it’s conspiracy theory time. Riddles wrapped in mysteries playing Pooh sticks in a duck pond full of dubiety geese.

To my mind there’s only one way the US government can convince the world they’ve actually buried him at sea, and haven’t harvested his blood serum to try and synthesise Bad People to be booed at by studio audiences.

The Bin Laden Memorial Aquarium.

Dead easy. Open an aquarium, and prove to the world that the Citizen Cane of facial hair and home videos actually is sleeping with the fishes.

All bases covered. The skeptics would be satisfied. A terrorist would be made an example of, like old pirates swinging from a South London quayside. And, meanwhile, US patriots could jeer and trumpet as moronically as they liked while his bloated body was ravaged in the shark tunnel. Halfwits could stamp their feet from the safety of their (reinforced) glass-bottomed boats, while sting rays and swordfish set about him like a lion skewering a Christian.

Now that’s what I call transparency.


~ by David Thorley on May 4, 2011.

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